30 Days of Yullen
by ElricSisters7
Summary: ON HIATUS UNTIL WEDNESDAY 7/18 30 Yullen drabbles to be published over the next 30 days. Each is unrelated to the last and based on a theme. Day 10 theme-Silver: Kanda is convinced silver is a cold color. The exorcist insignia, the moon, and the Moyashi's hair and eyes all fall into the category.
1. Beginning

A/N- A challenge has been issued in the tumblr universe to write a drabble every day for 30 days to 30 set themes. I took up that challenge because who am I to ignore the tumblrverse? Here is the first of 30 Yullen drabbles. Rated T for language and implications of smut (no actual, detailed smut though, I'm hiding from the authorities)

* * *

6/28 beginning.

In the beginning, he was just some boy, just another annoying disturbance at the gate that I had to deal with. He had pure white hair and a red mark that transformed what would be a pretty-boy face into something else; something more like us, the exorcists, the freaks, the hosts for the innocence. _Hosts_, that made it sound like a parasite feeding off of us. Parasites eventually drink their hosts dry, leave them drained and dead. They even called his a parasite. At least they admitted it.

In the beginning, it was a refusal to shake that parasite hand, touch the boy with the pretty-boy face and a curse scar. It wasn't special treatment; I didn't bother with any of the newbies. They die too fast. Idiocy, naivety, inexperience, heroic but stupid notions, whatever, something always got them. If I acknowledged them and they died, then it was just a waste of my time. I could tell he was just like every other fresh-faced dumbass to walk through that door. They would learn the harsh reality quickly, or they would die. He didn't strike me as a fast learner. I was proved right on one count and wrong several others. He didn't learn, because he already knew too much of reality, but he didn't let go of that obnoxiously noble outlook and he didn't die.

In the beginning, it was true hatred of each other that caused us to yell and pick fights. I thought he was going to get himself killed one day with his idiotic hero act. His disregard for his own life, his willingness to throw it away for any old sap in trouble pissed me off. He thought too highly of people, and he trusted too much and too easily. He thought I was rude, pessimistic and violent; all true, but most people were too terrified to point it out. Eventually it became clear that to yell, to release thoughts, words and emotions into the air was a great way to get them off our chests, relieve the stresses of living on the frontlines of a war. Throwing scathing insults and hatred at each other helped with those things we couldn't yell about, couldn't speak about or show anyone else. His accusations were destined for an Order who cared more for results than the lives of soldiers or victims. My snapping retorts lashed against a world that had cursed me without thought or care. That didn't mean we never fought in earnest, but we always knew when we were battling the other or some unknown demon.

In the beginning, it was that white-haired boy being a nuisance. He refused to give up some point neither of us remembered or cared to. I could tune him out for the most part, but the part I couldn't was giving me a headache. I decided the best way to shut him up was a stop his mouth; if it shocked him into silence for a bit, then that was just two birds for one stone. I grabbed the front of his uniform and pulled him into a forceful crush of lips. I let him go and leaned back with a smirk at the dumbstruck look on that pretty-boy face. I should have known trouble when it morphed into his devious poker face just a bit too fast. That was when the cursed boy decided to return the favor.

"What the fuck Moyashi?" I spluttered, "Why the hell would you do it again?"

He shrugged and settled back, his face now mirroring mine from a moment ago. "I liked it. Does there have to be anything else to it?"

In the tangle of damp skin, writhing bodies and quickened, loud breaths, we learned there was more than one way to relieve stress. We tried to convince ourselves there wasn't anything else to it, just as he had said that day, but it was the only time I ever called him by his real name, and he would mumble something suspiciously like 'love' amidst the noise of his pleasure. Neither could I just take what I wanted and leave, no matter how much I tried to convince myself I should do just that.

In the middle of the night, when the silver moonlight spilling into the room matched the strands of his hair, I would watch the slow rise and fall of his breath and the twitch of his hand against the sheets as he dreamed. Somehow he would always end up resting that moonlight head on my chest, right over the mark of my own curse. When the strands fell just right and covered his scar as well, it was like a scene stolen from someone else's life. We looked like two ordinary people, people who could have a future together and weren't expected to throw ourselves as sacrifices into this pointless battle. He looked young and innocent, not like a 'destroyer of time.' I'm not sure how I looked in those moments but I'm sure something was different.

In the beginning it was a specter that haunted mirrors and windows, he told me. Slowly it developed a shape and a voice, and it tried to control him. I sometimes watched him fighting it; his face would darken, literally, his fists would clench and he lips would move in words of defiance of the thing that was trying to drive out everything that made him that white-haired boy with a pretty-boy face and a curse scar.

In the beginning, I could break him out of it. If I yelled or kissed him or distracted him so his mind was too full for the specter, he would sometimes come back. When it didn't, I hated that the fight was all up to him. I knew he would put up a good struggle though. He hadn't died too fast. He hadn't learned, he hadn't let go of that obnoxiously noble outlook and he hadn't died. But he was slipping away, not dying, even if it had the same result, and I didn't know whether to count the time left in days or hours.

In the beginning, he didn't mean anything. In the beginning, losing him wouldn't have meant anything. It was still calm and nice and simple in the beginning, before these parasites began to eat away. Even so, as I look at that head of white from across the room, I hate the beginning, because every beginning has an end.

* * *

A/N: Might as well rip your heart to shreds with the first one. Don't worry, they won't all be heart-wrenching. Day 4 should be upbeat for sure.

Sorry if Kanda's narration style was a little ooc.


	2. Accusation

Seeing as I ripped all of your hearts out on the last one, I figured I'd better give you something lighter so all my lovely readers aren't sobbing. Enjoy the crack.

* * *

6/29 accusation.

Allen Walker was one happy little exorcist. After months of getting shuffled this way and that without pause, he finally had a day off, and so did many of his fellow exorcists. It looked like it could be a quiet day in the Black Order headquarters, which goes to say it was only a matter of time before something went wrong.

When the morning sun crept through Allen's window, he curled up tightly into a warm ball of blankets, hugging his pillow tightly and fully intending to sleep in. He tried to remember the last time he got to sleep properly, but couldn't. "Get the curtains Tim," he mumbled at his golem, who gripped the shade in tiny jaws and pulled it down until the room was dark again. Allen signed and was about to drift back to sleep when his stomach growled loud and insistently. _Shut up,_ he told it, _today I'm sleeping first._ It growled once more in defiance but Allen ignored it and tried to fall back asleep.

Once again his attempt was thwarted when there was a loud explosion from somewhere in the depths of the building. Startled out of his half-asleep state, Allen shot up to sitting so fast he almost got whiplash. Only seconds after his stomach growled yet again. He put his head in his hands and groaned. There went that plan.

_Oh well, _he thought to himself, _at least the day won't be a total waste. Kanda is coming back from his mission today…_

Another growl removed him from his musing. "Fine, fine," he grumbled, hauling himself up out of bed and off to the cafeteria. Jerry had promised him an extra special breakfast since it was his day off, complete with his plethora of favorites and topped off by many Dango. Not to mention he had so much free time that he could actually linger over his food, meaning he ate ten plates in ten minutes rather than five.

As he was leaving the cafeteria, full and slightly mollified over his interrupted sleep, he ran into Lenalee. She also had the day off, and it was apparent by the bag slung over her shoulder that she would be going into town for some shopping as per usual.

"Hey Allen, what are you doing up? I thought you were going to sleep in today," she commented.

"I would have if something hadn't exploded, and food hadn't called," he replied.

"Oh, sorry about the explosion. That was brother, no surprise. Thankfully, whatever he was cooking up got destroyed in the blast. Although, speaking of brother, his birthday is coming up and I was thinking we should all throw him a surprise party."

"That's a good idea. Anything you need me to do?"

"Not right now unless you have any suggestions for decorations or gifts. I was just about to go town to buy some," Lenalee told him.

"No, you have the best taste for these sorts of things. Whatever you want to get is fine with me."

"Thanks. Have a good day then. I'll see you later, bye."

Allen waved Lenalee off before heading back in the direction of his room. For once he could just sit around and do nothing. Or, Lavi had given him a book to read that he might check out. Yes, that sounded like a relaxing way to while away the time until Kanda returned.

_Meanwhile…_

After the disaster the last time Lenalee went to town, Komui had taken it upon himself to bug her bag. His first attempt at a bug had blown up on him when he tried to hook it up to his listening device just this morning. He was lucky he managed to whip up another one in time. The sound quality wasn't perfect – it kept dissolving into static – but at least it hadn't caught fire yet.

Komui settled at his desk and flicked on the bug. If there was any sign that his precious Lenalee was on a date, he had a Komurin standing by. He heard the door to Lenalee's room close followed by some footsteps before it dissolved into static. When the sound came back, Lenalee had stopped to talk to someone:

"Hey Allen, what are you doing up? I thought you were going to sleep in today?"

"I would have if something hadn't exploded, and food hadn't called."

"Oh, sorry about the explosion. That was brother, no surprise. Thankfully whatever he was cooking up this time got destroyed in the blast.

That's when the sound quality dissolved again. "_Bzzzz_ him _bzzz_ party." Komui's eyes widened. He had been right! Lenalee was going to see some _HE_ at a party!

Allen's voice cut back in with, "_Bzzz_ good idea. _Bzzzzz_ you need me _bzzzz_?" Komui inhaled sharply. That Allen, he always seemed like such a nice boy but this just proved that all perverted, awful men were out to corrupt his precious Lenalee!

"_Bzz _now_ bzzzzzzz_," he heard her reply.

"_Bzz _taste_ bzzzz_. _Bzzzzzz_ you want _bzz_ me." That was the final straw. He didn't even wait to hear Lenalee's, "_Bzzzz_. I'll see you later," before he'd pressed the emergency launch button for Komurin. He watched intently on the front gate camera as Lenalee walked out, away from that disgusting exorcist who would soon be no more. His eyes gleamed evilly as he peered out of the door of his office, clutching Komurin's controller tight.

Allen had nearly reached his room when an awful shudder ran down his spine. Not a moment later, he heard the loud, metallic footsteps that were characteristic of a… He shrieked and ran as the robot appeared around the corner, chanting "Kill Allen Walker… Kill Allen Walker…" He shot round after round of bullets at the thing from his innocence, but they didn't have any effect.

He spotted Lavi across the main atrium as he dashed out onto the circular hallway. "Help!"

"Allen, what the… WHOA!" Lavi ducked to avoid being trampled by the stampeding Komurin.

"Find Komui!" Allen shouted at Lavi, his voice momentarily trailing off as he disappeared around the other side of the circular main atrium. When he was back in earshot again, he continued, "I saw him toying with a remote a few days ago. I bet he's controlling this one!"

Lavi found Komui crouched in the shadows where he could just peer out of his office into the main hallway. "Morning supervisor, what are you up to this fine day," he remarked calmly, nearly scaring the beret off the man, who quickly hid the controller behind his back.

"Ah, Lavi, just doing a little…" Komui paused, scanning the room for ideas, "paperwork."

Lavi raised an eyebrow. "On the floor?"

"Well, uh, you know my desk is too comfortable. I'll fall asleep."

"Mhm, and what is that behind your back?" Lavi didn't leave Komui time to stutter up an excuse. He sighed. "Why did you set a Komurin on Allen this time?"

The mad scientist's face instantly turned from secretive to a cross between furious and teary. "That despicable exorcist is hitting on my precious Lenalee," he cried. "I bugged her purse, I heard them talking! It was fuzzy but I could still make out all his dastardly intentions!"

Lavi smacked his forehead with his palm. "How many times has Lenalee told you not to do that? She'll be pissed when she finds out you sent one of those things after someone without reason again."

"Without reason! I heard him!"

"Allen wouldn't hit on her," Lavi reassured. Being the expert at eavesdropping and sneaking that he was, Lavi had seen some very interesting things. Lately, Allen had begun meeting with a certain long-haired, grumpy exorcist in dark corners and deserted hallways just a bit more than someone who would be interested in Lenalee and her, ahem, gender persuasion.

"Why not?" Komui shouted, asking the exact question Lavi didn't want to answer.

"That's for Allen to tell you if he wants, boss, but trust me, he isn't into her."

"But all awful men are interested in my beautiful, innocent Lenalee," the supervisor shrieked.

Lavi abandoned his attempt at reason and diplomacy and made a grab for the remote. He anticipated the sleeping dart the supervisor would shoot his way and brushed it aside with his hammer. Just when it seemed he would get the device, he felt something prick the back of his neck. He collapsed into a heap; he saw something robotic out of the corner of his eye before he passed out. It looked to also be holding a set of blow darts and saying "Komurin mini…Komurin mini…"

After successfully taking out Lavi, Komui snuck out of his office excitedly to view the carnage. He held his blow dart gun at the ready in case anyone tried something funny. He laughed in manic delight as he watched the white-haired exorcist get chased around and around by his lovely Komurin.

"Supervisor! What the hell do you think you're doing this time?" shouted Reever from where he and the rest of the science team had taken cover on the elevator platform. "Did you disable the gun?"

Komui just laughed louder and crazier.

It was at that moment that Kanda arrived back from his mission. "What the fuck is all of this noise?" he yelled, stalking up the stairs from the underground river. He surveyed the scene for a moment before decapitating the Komurin when it made its next lap, too fast for Komui to get him with a sleeping dart.

"MY KOMURIN!" Komui wailed.

"Why the hell was another one of those damn things on the lose?"

"It was Allen!" Komui shouted through his sniffling, pointing an accusatory finger at the boy, who had slumped against the railing in relief. "I heard him hitting on my darling Lenalee!"

Kanda rolled his eyes. "He wasn't."

"Yes he was! I heard it with an electronic bug and my own ears. Lavi tried to say the same thing, but all despicable men want to hit on Lenalee. She's just too pretty for her own good," Komui rationalized

"Che, not _all _men want to hit on her."

"OF COURSE THEY DO!"

"Apparently you're too thick to get it through your skull, so I'll just have to show you," Kanda remarked. He paced over to where Allen was still recovering, grabbed the front of his uniform, and brought their faces together for a hard kiss. "Moyashi isn't hitting on Lenalee because he is _mine_."

On the elevator platform, Reever burst into peals of laughter. "Well Supervisor, it looks like those are two less boys you have to worry about around Lenalee.

Kanda scoffed in their general direction before stating, "These idiots are annoying. Come on Moyashi" With that, he started to drag the exorcist in the direction of his room.

"Okay," Allen mumbled, still dazed from being chased by Komurin and then kissed in front of the entire Order. Not exactly the quiet day he had imagined, but at least things were looking up.

* * *

Whew, I barely managed to make the day deadline on this one.


	3. Restless

A/N: I really like cutting these deadlines close, don't I? :P Oh well, it's just because I do most of my writing in front of the TV in the evening. I need that background noise. But I made it! Enjoy day 3.

Oh, and just so you're warned, this one is 1st person from Allen's POV

* * *

6/30 restless.

"Keep walking, keep walking, keep walking." That mantra filled my days and invaded my dreams. It was the only way, the only thing I had left. If I stopped there would be no point, no point at all. All the death, all the pain, all the sorrow, it would be for nothing.

I figured it was ironic that my last name was 'Walker.' A worker is someone who works and a fighter is someone who fights, so a 'Walker' must be someone who walks. Even my name told me those words that were both tired and still held so much power. It meant there was no escape from this destiny.

These were the sorts of things I meditated on when I couldn't sleep late at night, when the ghosts and the demons poked and prodded from the corners of my exhausted mind. It was then that I was too weak to keep them at bay. I realized that I probably wasn't helping thinking of such things, but that was where my head drifted anyway.

Lately the ghosts were more restless. I hadn't slept through the night in at least a week, probably more. There were more of them than before, and I was sleep deprived, neither of which were helping, but I knew it was the time of year. Most people love the holiday season, but I'm one of the few who dreads it. The memories of Mana are always stronger as my birthday approaches, and he's the most potent of all my ghosts.

The last few days, the same dream of when I turned Mana into an Akuma haunted my nighttime hours. No matter how much time passed between that day and my present moment, it never lost its terror and sadness for me. I can never go back to sleep after that dream; I can't keep still. At those moments, in the small hours of the night, more than ever I can hear his mantra, and then I must obey. I have to walk, to try to walk away from it all, leave it steps behind and hope that something better is only steps ahead.

Tonight the dream seemed worse than usual. I woke in a cold sweat and sat up so fast I was shocked I didn't wake the raven-haired man sleeping beside me. I had eased out of bed and paced the cold floor with quiet footsteps. It didn't help; walking back and forth in his tiny room there could be no illusion of forward movement. I felt claustrophobic, restless, about to burst. I wanted to _run_, not walk, or scream, anything to release everything welling up inside of me.

Instead I directed my feet to leave the room and carry me to the main atrium of headquarters. Since it formed a circle, I could walk forever here without ever having to turn around or stop. If I could walk myself into exhaustion I can sometimes go back to sleep, and that night I definitely needed any more sleep I could get.

I walked in circles until my feet and legs ached, and my breath came short, but my eyes stayed wide open and the tiredness would not come. I sat on the railing that cut the walkway off from a long drop down deep into the order building, and pulled my knees up to my chest. Now that I'd stopped moving, the winter cold was starting to seep into my core. My feet shifted restlessly against the handrail even though they were throbbing from my trek. Even my own body wouldn't let me stop moving.

Below me, I could see the faint glow from Hevlaska, the keeper of the innocence. Sometimes I wondered if she mourned for the innocence lost to the Noah's and their destructive powers. Up above, e could see the moon through the windows. It had moved across them to mark the hours since I woke. I would have to make sure to be back in bed before the Order began its day. I didn't need anyone worrying about me, especially Kanda. This was my burden to bear.

I leaned against my knees and tried to will the sleep to come. If sleep came, maybe I could forget my twitching feet. It still wouldn't come. I sighed and let my head fall against the pillar I was leaning my back against. It hit a little harder than I expected, but I couldn't bring myself to make a noise of discomfort. I didn't want to break the stillness and silence of the slumbering Order. It was almost like a graveyard.

Except... there was the soft shuffle of feet to break the silence. It would be inaudible if there was any other noise in this big, empty room. I peeked up at the figure approaching down a side corridor out of the corner of my eye before quickly looking away.

"What are you doing up?" I mumbled when his shadow crossed my face.

"I could ask you the same thing. You weren't in bed." His attempt at snapping was weakened by the tiredness in his voice, and even below that a hint of concern.

I shrugged. "I couldn't sleep, I was too... restless."

"That's not all of it, it is?" He said it as less of a question and more of a remark. I stubbornly stayed silent. However, when it comes to stubbornness, it's hard to beat Kanda Yuu. He grabbed my chin and forced me to meet his eyes. "Tell me."

I tried to stare him down but he was having none of it. He didn't do anything else, just kept his hold and didn't look away.

"I had a nightmare," I mumbled.

"About what?" He insisted in the same tone, the one that said he would get his answer eventually.

"Mana," I relented. He loosened his grip and I took the opportunity to look away. I didn't want him to see how badly the dream affected me; I expected him to scoff. He didn't tend to think much of getting emotional over things, especially when it was lingering over things in the past.

Instead, he surprised me by saying in a gruff tone, "Come back to bed. If you fall asleep out here you'll fall over the side and we'll be scraping you off the floor."

It was unexpected moments like that which made me love him. He buried his true emotions under insults and roughness, but occasionally, when I cleared all of that away, he would show he cared. I smiled at the thought.

He gave me a sideways look, but held out a hand to pull me down off the railing. I winced at the impact of my feet on the floor. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"My feet hurt from walking."

"Walking? Why the hell are you walking enough to make your feet hurt in the middle of the night?"

"I have to keep walking," I told him, "there isn't a point to any of this if I stop. I have nothing left if I stop."

"Che, that's stupid. You've got to stop sometime. If you don't, you'll just wear yourself down until you can't walk at all anymore."

I didn't have the energy to argue. I just followed him back to his room and let him pull me into bed. I settled back into the pillows, but I couldn't get comfortable. I turned over on my side and curled up in a ball, but I felt too scrunched up. I lay on my back and pulled the covers over my head, but it was too stuffy. I turned to face the window, but what moonlight remained was too bright.

Kanda growled. He wrapped his arms around me so I couldn't move around anymore and pulled me to him so my head was resting on his shoulder. "Stop being so restless," he said.

I took a deep breath, and tried to calm down and be still. His scent and warmth wrapped around me. Maybe I still had something left, even if I stopped walking. I knew I wouldn't come to a complete halt, but like Kanda said, maybe I didn't need to walk myself into the ground to keep moving forward.

Finally I could feel my eyelids drooping. "Goodnight, Kanda," I breathed in a tired whisper.

I thought he was asleep, but he murmured in a voice as soft as my own, "Goodnight, Aren."

* * *

A/N: Wow, I really didn't mean to make this that fluffy at the end, but I usually just let the story go where it takes me. Sorry if anyone gets annoyed by that spelling of Allen's name, but I just can't picture Kanda saying Allen correctly and without his accent; it doesn't work in my mind.


	4. Snowflake

A/N- I actually finished all of my writing (_all of it!_) before 11:30 so I'm not scrambling to meet my daily posting deadline at the last minute. The last several have been exactly that, 11:59 and like 45 seconds. Yay for getting stuff done on time. This is a light one. Enjoy._  
_

* * *

7/1 snowflake.

One early December morning found several of the members of the science division crammed in tight around a window, peering out intently. This was how Allen Walker and Kanda Yuu, who were walking down to breakfast together, found them.

"What's going on," asked Allen, approaching the knot of people.

"Look outside, it snowed!" Exclaimed Johnny. "It's so beautiful!" He extricated himself from the huddle so Allen could take his spot and get a glance at the swirling flakes just beyond the glass. Allen still had to stand on his tiptoes to see over the heads of the other science workers. A white blanket covered the ground and the forest just outside the Order, and piled in drifts against the windowsills.

Kanda snickered from somewhere behind and Allen whirled to glare at him. The older boy was standing with his arms crossed and the hint of a smile disguised as a smirk on his face. "Just what is so funny?"

"You," he replied, "Moyashi." Then he turned and continued down toward the cafeteria.

Allen glared after him for a moment, and considered leaving him to eat alone as retribution for the comment, but the call of food was just stronger than any sense of indignity. When he got to the cafeteria, Kanda had already collected his soba and was eating it at an empty table, ignoring the world around him.

When Allen approached the pickup window, Jerry started loading it full of trays. "Your usual," he said once the boy had collected enough of the trays to be visible again.

"Thanks Jerry," Allen said with a nod.

He was about to turn around when the cook said, "Wait just a minute, cutie." He disappeared into the kitchen for a second and then returned with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. "I whipped up a batch since it's snowing. I've got one for you and one for your honey over there. He wouldn't take any. Maybe you can convince him."

Allen turned red to the roots of his hair when Jerry winked at him, but he let the flamboyant chef balance the cups on one of his trays. When he sat down next to Kanda, the swordsman kept his face blank as if the boy wasn't there, but pressed his leg against Allen's. He nearly jumped and spilled his burden. He recovered and set the first mug in front of Kanda before gulping down half of his own, and nearly scalding his tongue. It warmed his stomach nicely.

"Moyashi, what is this?"

"Hot chocolate," Allen stated before drinking another mouthful.

"Hm, want to give me a taste?" Kanda leaned toward Allen with a predatory grin. Allen leaned back a bit and quickly held up his mug between them. Kanda snickered. "I don't want it. You can drink mine."

"Then why did you want a taste?" Allen squeaked, flustered.

"Oh, our poor Moyashi, still so innocent," Lavi teased, sliding onto the bench across from the two with own meal breakfast. "Is the big, bad Yuu picking on you?"

"Say that one more time baka Usagi," Kanda threatened. He said it like a casual remark, and barely paused in eating, but Lavi knew he was perfectly serious.

He was saved from putting his foot in his mouth again, which he undoubtedly would, when Komui came on over the loudspeakers. "In light of this morning's weather conditions, we will all be having a snow day!" The cafeteria erupted into cheers, all except for Kanda who wore a skeptical look.

"What's with the face?" Lavi asked.

"Che, a snow day, how stupid. It's not like people can't work in here with the weather."

"Don't complain," the redhead suggested. "Let's all go play in the snow!"

"No. I'm going to meditate," Kanda gathered up his dishes and marched off to deposit them at the drop off window.

"Allen will come play with me!" Lavi called after Kanda's retreating back but he didn't pay attention. "Oh, well," he shrugged. "Come on then!" Allen found himself being pulled down the corridor and toward the awaiting snow.

Allen blinked in the light reflected off the snow through the wide open doors. Lavi left him behind with a whoop to run out into the unmarred powder and cannonball into a snow drift. Allen ran after laughing. It was only moments before what seemed like every person in the building minus one had packed out into the snow. Lenalee and Miranda started building a snowman. Lavi was still in his snow drift, laughing as he tried to make a snow angel. The finders were chasing after each other, to be pushed into a bank if they got caught.

Inside the building, Kanda glanced out the window at the Order members romping around. He didn't get why people like the snow. It was fucking cold, and made everyone act like an idiot. Although, he snuck a second look, his lover did look quite good with his cheeks all flushed from the cold and from laughing… He shook his head to clear it and settled down to meditate. At least there was one good thing about everyone being out there: it was perfectly quiet.

Back out in the snow, Allen could just see the top of Lavi's red head as he tried to dig his way out of the snow drift. It gave him an idea. He leaned down to pack some snow into his hand and then waited for the perfect moment. As soon as Lavi's headband emerged, he let fly; it was a perfect bulls-eye. For a moment, his red target disappeared under a burst of powder. Lavi shook his head like a dog and then called, "Oh, it is so on," while launching a snowball of his own.

It didn't take long for everyone to join the full on snowball war. The science division whipped up a snow fort in record time and kept hurling missiles out at record speed. Everyone suspected Komui had snuck out some invention to help with the assault. Allen and Lenalee used their innocence to carve out a high wall to defend the exorcists' team, not nearly as fancy but just as effective. The finders were struggling to build their defenses, but their numbers allowed them to still hold their own. Laughs and shrieks filled the air as snowballs hit home, the victims rushing to brush the powder off their clothes before it could melt into their collars and socks.

The battle ground to a halt when a window opened in the wall of the building and a voice shouted, "Could you all shut the hell up? How can you be so noisy?"

Allen spotted the head of raven hair topping Kanda's irritated face. He furtively scraped a bit of snow out of the defense wall, took aim and…

His face covered in snow, Kanda quickly picked out his Moyashi, who was meeting his eyes cheekily, almost in a dare. "Moyashi! You are so dead," he roared before ducking back through the window and rushing down through the building.

The little trouble maker was still standing in the same spot with the same cocky look when Kanda emerged into the blinding whiteness. To everyone's surprise, Allen laughed and shouted, "You have to catch me first, Yuu," before turning to dash into the forest

Kanda chased after him quickly. The trees were also a world of white. He had just managed to catch a glimpse of the white haired exorcist when a white cloak settled itself over his shoulders and he disappeared. Kanda cursed Allen's camouflage loud enough for the other boy to hear him. A laugh echoed back through the trees from some unseen point. It sent shivers down Kanda's spine, good shivers.

He relied on his ears to track Allen deep into the forest. He finally caught him, still laughing happily, in a clearing. Kanda tackled him to the ground and they rolled about in a tangle of limbs, trying to shove snow down each other's shirts. Their wrestling match was brought to an abrupt halt when a gust of wind swept through the trees, shaking branches and dumping enough snow on top of the two to nearly bury them. They dug their way out and lay in the snow, exhausted and breathing heavily.

Kanda watched Allen gazing up at the sky as snowflakes fell onto his pale face and collected in his white eyelashes. Suddenly, he stuck out his tongue.

"What are you doing?" Kanda asked.

"Catching snowflakes on my tongue," Allen replied, his voice distorted by his open mouth. "You should try it."

"Why would I want to do that? You look stupid." He actually thought his lover looked rather… tempting, but he wasn't going to say that.

"'Cuz it's fun!"

Kanda could think of something else that would be fun, and he wasn't about to let a brilliant opportunity like this pass. He rolled over so he was pinning Allen to the ground and pressed his mouth over his Moyashi's open one. Allen squeaked in surprise but quickly got into it. He reached his hands up to undo Kanda's hair tie and run his hands through the long black locks, a favorite habit of his, as their tongues danced.

A wolf whistle from somewhere overhead interrupted them. "Nice show guys," called Lavi. They could see he was sitting high in the air on the extended handle of his hammer. "If you were out here any longer we were going to send out a search party. Good thing we didn't or they might have gotten even more of an eyeful."

Allen yanked the hood of his coat over his face in mortification. Kanda just waved his hand absently at the redhead and ordered, "Get lost. We weren't finished yet."

"I'll leave you be then. Don't stay out so long you catch cold." Lavi gave them a salute and a wave before disappearing over the tops of the trees.

"Hm, now where were we?" Kanda asked before going back to attacking his Moyashi's mouth. When they finally broke, Allen's lips were swolen and he didn't feel cold at all despite the fact he was lying in the snow.

"Maybe we should go inside," he suggested, breathing heavily, "I'm soaking wet."

Kanda smirked and remarked, "yes, you should get out of those clothes or you'll catch a cold. And you know you never gave me that taste of hot chocolate." He stood and held out a hand to haul Allen out of the snow. The white-haired boy twined their fingers together before Kanda could pull away. He rolled his eyes, but he didn't let go either.

As they neared the doors, Kanda stopped suddenly, seemingly having forgotten he was holding hands with Allen. He stopped as well and looked back in time to see Kanda catch a snowflake on his tongue. He couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"What are you smiling about?" Kanda asked, tilting his head back down to meet Allen's eyes.

"Yuu," he replied and leaned in for a quick kiss before his lover hauled him inside to enjoy the rest of their snow day.

* * *

A/N- And we can all guess what happened next ;)


	5. Haze

A/N- Oh god, I was so terrified I wasn't going to get this one up in time. First was the fact I knew it was going to be long, and oh, I had to work all day. Then, about three paragraphs from finishing, my internet cuts out… the DNS server. I hate the DNS server. It requires a full reset of _everything_, network and computer, and my computer is so slow I was panicking as it was trying to wake itself up that it wouldn't respond in time. I was so ready to bail and try to upload it from my mom's computer somehow without leaving a trace. *big breath* Ok, freak out is done. I still got it up at the last minute despite all of that. Yay!

Another 1st person from Allen

A special shout out to the anonymous reviewer who signs as Sin Angel. I had to find some way to thank you for such lovely reviews.

* * *

7/2 haze.

I was in a dark world, black and cold and empty. I blinked my eyes several times and tried to see anything through the gloom. I waved my hand in front of my face but it was as if it wasn't there. Sparks started to burst in my vision as I slid one foot forward and then another. There had to be some way out, some end to the darkness, I only had to find it.

Laughter, sharp and loud, tumbled out from some unseen source. I jumped and whipped around toward the direction of the noise, my eyes scanning for a glimpse of the laugher on instinct. Another voice joined in from behind me, then another and another. Before long, the eerie, disembodied cackles surrounded me on all sides like a wall of sound.

"Who are you?" I called into the nothingness, waving my hand through the air and trying to touch that intangible wall, to disperse it somehow.

"We are your ghosts Allen Walker," a voice replied. It sounded neither male nor female and echoed in every direction until I couldn't pinpoint the origin. The echoes bounced around my body like physical blows until they faded out into the unearthly whisper of many different voices. "We are your failures, the dead, the lost souls."

I covered my ears to stop the sound from tearing through my skull. "Stop," please I shouted, falling to the ground and curling up against the barrage.

"We cannot," they called, "because of you we cannot."

A blinding flash stabbed through my skull and the world dropped into a sudden dead silence. There was a rapid flicker before my vision settled on to light, and what I realized was reality. I gulped a large breath of air and then forced myself to take the next inhale slowly. Just a dream, I thought, trying to calm my racing heart.

I did a quick scan of my surroundings, unfamiliar walls and ceiling. There was a quick flash of darkness that seemed to originate from the left. I rubbed my eyes and sat up, remembering I had fallen asleep across the bench in a train compartment. I was traveling to a mission.

I looked at my partner for the mission, sitting on the seat across from me. Kanda raised one black eyebrow before he disappeared back behind the mission file.

I sat up and stretched before picking up mine and browsing through it with as much nonchalance as I could muster. Kanda would torment me mercilessly if he thought I had been disturbed by something as unimportant as a dream. So far the mission looked like a typical search and retrieve story. Just like so many others, a tiny village had begun to tell stories of strange occurrences and a series of attacks had begun soon after. The finders had then confirmed that it was a piece of innocence being targeted by Akuma. It was almost refreshing to have such a simple, straightforward task after all the difficult missions as of late. The innocence was changing the animals here. It seemed to be in a natural spring deep in the forest that many of them used as a water source. Wild horses became unicorns, wolves stood on two legs at the full moon, and birds combusted in the brilliance of a phoenix. They normally didn't cause any harm, but they were violently protective of their pool. We had been dispatched to try to get there before the poachers of both animals and innocence arrived.

I couldn't concentrate on the mission, though. My eyes glazed as I fell into pondering the dream. What could it have possibly meant? I'm sure it meant something, something important that I needed to figure out.

"Hey, idiot Moyashi, stop drooling and get up. We're here," were the snapped words that broke my concentration. I glanced out the window to see a tiny train platform through the haze of the engine smoke and an even tinier village beyond.

We jumped down from the train and scanned the area. There weren't any people visible, but that was to be expected after Akuma attacks.

"Come on," Kanda ordered and started for the track that ran down the center of the village, "Let's get this over fast. It's boring and annoying."

"I don't know, it seems like a nice, easy break."

"Che," he said loud enough for me to hear and the mumbled something under his breath that sounded like "beginner mission."

All down the path, faces peeked out of windows and from behind curtains before vanishing again. These were scared, distrustful people, but they were more afraid of coming out into the open than they were of us. However, there was one person who wasn't nearly as frightened. A pair of small eyes watched us for a moment from around the corner of a house before a small girl, maybe four or five years old, darted out and nearly ran into us.

"You're new," she exclaimed with a wide smile, as if she was proud of having come to this conclusion herself. "You wear funny clothes."

Kanda whipped out Mugen in an instant. I pushed his sword arm down with a hand so he wouldn't terrify the child. "She's fine," I reassured him. Then I crouched in the dirt to look her in the eye. "Where are your parents?" I was surprised no worried adults had rushed out to collect her.

"Grandma said they went somewhere else. She said I'll see them again. It's boring without them, but Grandma's too slow to catch me." The girl whispered the last part as if she was letting us in on a big secret. My heart went out to the poor child in a burst of empathy. I suspected her parents were killed in the Akuma attack, but without bodies to show she was just too young to understand they were dead.

"You should go back to her," I said gently, "Your Grandmother is probably very worried about you."

She pouted for a moment. I gave her a light nudge in the direction of the houses. Her pout grew in a way that distinctly said, "fine, ruin my fun," but she walked off. If only it had been that easy. She reappeared while Kanda and I were inspecting the edge of the forest for unusual animal prints or a sign of the Akuma to track, nearly startling me out of my skin.

"Didn't I tell you to go home?" I asked her.

"Yes," she stated. "Are you an old man mister? You have hair like an old man."

From somewhere off to my right, Kanda snickered. "I'd let her stay for that comment Moyashi," he teased.

"Is that your name? Moyashi?"

I gritted my teeth and promised to get him back later. Instead I picked her up. "My name is Allen," I said firmly. Then I looked over my shoulder at Kanda. "I'm taking her home. It's too dangerous out here. Leave a trail marker if you find anything." I doubted he would leave a sign, but it didn't hurt to suggest. I left him as the girl kicked her feet and demanded I stay and play with her.

My suspicion was confirmed when I returned from dropping the girl with her Grandmother, who promised to keep a strict eye on her. Kanda was gone without a trace, and I was stuck wandering around the forest for half an hour until I got lucky and spotted a print from his boot in the mud.

I found him four against one at the pool. It glowed green, which made the bloodstains on the water stand out. It looked like the animals had put up a good fight defending it, but they had been slaughtered in the end. I jumped in and engaged with an Akuma who was spitting a sticky, smoking slime everywhere.

I had just dispatched slimy, and Kanda his enemy, when I heard a young voice out in the forest. "Where did you go Allen?" It called. "I want to play!" My heart dropped like a rock as she emerged from between the trees

The remaining two Akuma looked at each other and said in unison, "food!"

I ran as fast as I could, yelling for her to run, to hide, but I was too late. I was close enough for the blood to splatter across my face as an Akuma with axe-like blades for hands decapitated her. I watched, eyes wide, as the body turned to dust as it fell. I attacked her killer with a maniac shout. I forced it back to the pool; it could barely hold against my fury. As I fought, my eye kept gravitating back to the dust that was all which remained.

Just as I was about to kill the Akuma, I glanced back at the crumpled pile on the ground one more time. She was so young. I should have protected her. It was all my fault she was dead. I should have saved her somehow.

I came to a sudden halt as a terrible pain pierced my head. It felt like it was being torn in half along the path of my scar. I screamed and clapped my hand to my face, trying to hold it together; surely it had to be coming apart.

Ever since my eye healed after being stabbed out by Rhode Camelot, I had experienced small problems with it here and there. It had a bad habit of activating to scan for Akuma in the middle of the night. Occasionally it would feel swollen and foreign, as if it didn't belong in my face. It had never been as bad as this. It was flickering. The black and white world I saw blinked in and out of existence so quickly it made me dizzy. I could feel a terrible headache and nausea coming on. I tried to close my eyes, to block out the rapid changing, but I didn't have any control over it; the lid wouldn't close.

I collapsed to the ground, shaking and breathing deeply so I wouldn't be sick. There were voices above me, the metallic voices of Akuma and a voice I recognized very well but I still couldn't decipher what it was saying. Out of the mess of syllables and consonants, words formed. "Heehee! Your loss exorcist," they cackled in delight. I tried to stand, to defend myself, but my knees were weak and the flickering in my vision wouldn't let me pinpoint the Akuma's exact position. I could just make out those axes swinging toward my neck and I knew I was about to die.

The blow never came. Instead, there was an impressive crash followed by a breaking sound. There were more words that I couldn't make out, and then a pair of arms hauling me to my feet. I knew it was Kanda, but I couldn't see him because reality had begun to go blurry, hazy, between the flickers. The nausea I had been fighting rose up suddenly and violently. It was all I could do to try to not be sick on Kanda. Then my legs buckled and the ground was rising up to meet me as quickly as the darkness. _At least the flickering stopped_, I thought just before I passed out.

When I finally woke up, I was scared to open my eyes in case the flashes came back. I pried them open to find the word was stable, but very blurry. I could feel that I was lying on a bed, but that was the only clue I had to my surroundings. Everything in my vision was a massive wash of colors with no edges or shape. It was as if someone had placed a thick film over my eyes. I blinked several times and rubbed them hard, but it didn't make any difference.

"What the hell happened out there?" asked a voice from out of the haze.

I turned in the direction of the sound and tried to find Kanda. There was some black over on one side of the room, but it was so spread out I couldn't get a good feel on his actual location.

I blinked and squinted some more, but when it didn't help, I started to panic. "I can't see, Kanda," I yelled, "Where are you? I can't see!" I reached blindly in his direction. My breathing was quickly turning to hyperventilation.

He grabbed my hand with his callused one. "Quiet, Moyashi," he said, "I'm right here. You can still feel that, can't you?"

"Yes," I choked out. I reached my other hand forward until I touched his face. To my surprise, he actually let me. Being able to touch something helped ground me. My breathing slowed until I was calm again.

Kanda moved to pull away now that I wasn't panicking. I clenched his hand harder, but let my other hand drop. He gave a long-suffering sigh, and then his arm shifted. The blotch of black shrunk in size a tiny bit so I figured he sat down. "What happened?" He asked again.

"The curse," I told him. "My eye started flickering out there. Now my vision has gone so blurry I can't see anything." Now that I was calmer, I realized, "it must want something from me, the curse. And I think this happened before, right as I woke up from a dream on the train. There was a tiny flicker then."

"What set it off?"

"I don't know," I snapped, "If I did, I would get my sight back now."

"What was the dream about?" He sounded exasperated with our game of 20 questions.

"It was just dark with voices, the voices of the people I couldn't save."

"You were looking at the girl who died when you convulsed and fell." Kanda paused for a moment, trying to add the two up. I bet that he looked thoughtful. "It wants you to let go," he concluded. "You got your head so wrapped up in that stupid 'destroyer that saves' thing that you've convinced yourself you have to save everyone. It's saying you need to stop thinking about the people you didn't."

"But I do have to save everyone!" I exclaimed, scowling out into the haze and hoping I wasn't staring completely off target. "I have this eye and this curse. I'm the only one who can see the souls, so I have to save them. I have to protect all of the innocent people too. I get a few extra seconds, moments sometimes to prevent disaster. If I don't save them it's like I selfishly threw their lives away because I could have done something."

"You can't," he stated flatly, "I told you then and I'll tell you again now, we aren't saviors, we're destroyers."

"And I've proved you wrong! I've saved as well as destroyed."

"Pretty words. You're only try to convince yourself you've proved me wrong, met those idealistic words. You don't believe it." He pulled away and I heard footstep like he was starting to pace, and the colors shifted about.

"Stop," I shouted, "of course I do." It sounded empty even to me. There was always that little bit of doubt, that voice that said if I was truly capable of saving too I would be able to save them all.

"Then why do you torment yourself with the ones who died instead of remembering the ones who live, huh? Why do a few failures outweigh the rest? If that eye was really given to you so you can save souls, then you're supposed to do only that. It wasn't given to you so you can feel all guilty and morose about the dead."

I couldn't think of a good answer, so I crossed my arms and turned my head away. I knew it was childish, but I just couldn't admit he was right. No, he wasn't right... was he?

I heard his footsteps stop their restless movement. He sounded calmer when he said, "You can't save them all. It's not because we're destroyers or any of the other shit I've said. It's because you're just one tiny human, not some kind of god. If there was a crowd of a thousand people attacked by a thousand Akuma, you couldn't physically protect them all. Don't you get it? We're not perfect, we can't save everyone. So stop fucking agonizing over something you can't control."

I looked down toward my lap because I didn't know where else to look without accidentally meeting his eye. "I'm tired," I said. "I want to sleep, so please just go away." It was a lame excuse and we both knew it, but I heard the door close anyway. I lay down and closed my eyes. The dark world behind my lids was less confusing. I don't remember when I drifted off, but I did end up sleeping.

I was back on the darkened plane of my first dream. I stood and waited. I knew the voices would come, and I would have to confront them to regain my vision. They were laughing, led in their chorus by the high, sweet laugh of a little girl.

"Why don't you ask us who we are?" they asked. Whereas before they had been blended and genderless, no one voice rising apart from the others, now the little girl's voice dominated. "We are your ghosts Allen Walker. We are your failures, the dead, the lost souls."

I stood tall and unmoving, waiting for the whispers to fade away. I could almost feel their confusion at my calm demeanor. "I'm sorry for your deaths," I said as steadily as I could, "I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

"Yes, that's it. Your failure took our lives. You should be sorry."

"I am sorry, but I also must forgive myself."

"What about your guilt? What about all those feelings of resentment for not being able to protect everyone?" the voices demanded.

"I will always feel some guilt. If I didn't, I wouldn't be human. But it won't rule my life anymore."

When she replied, I could hear the smile in her voice. "Yes, that's it." The darkness blew away in wisps into daylight, and I found myself awake in a strange room. I looked around cautiously, and then with more eagerness, examining every edge, clear line and detail.

There was one detail in particular that caught my eye. He was sitting upright in an uncomfortable-looking chair, arms and legs crossed but eyes closed, apparently asleep. I reached out and shook him to wake him.

He jumped a bit, coming awake instantly. His eyes came to rest on me, and then traveled down to my hand on his arm. "Can you see again?" He asked, a hint of hesitancy in his voice covered by a blunt tone.

I didn't need to say anything. Instead, I looked him directly in the eye and smiled.

* * *

A/N- This one was less pairing oriented, but I liked the concept and I still like their interaction, so I hope nobody else minded.


	6. Flame

A/N- I had one of those moments where the story decided to take over. I was planning to write this in third person, but twice while I was in a writing groove and not paying full attention it slipped into first person. It must have been meant to be because writing this one got a lot easier after I switched. So I present to you a chapter from Kanda's POV.

**WARNING**: Under 's new stricter take on their ratings, this chapter might merit an M. There isn't a lemon or any other detailed doings (still hiding from the authorities), but it gets intense toward the end.

* * *

7/3 flame.

I stalked through the halls of the Order with a deep scowl on my face. Everyone was rushing around to put together a surprise birthday party for Komui, and all of it was pissing me off. Everywhere I turned, I was tripping over someone or some decoration.

"Yuu!" Called a certain suicidal bunny, who was pushing his way through a knot of finders carrying banners and streamers. "Come help set up. It will be fun!"

My eye twitched. Only the baka usagi was crazy enough to delude himself into thinking I could be lured into doing anything by a claim of 'fun.' "Hell no," I said, brushing past the over-enthusiastic redhead. "I'm going to practice. If anyone wants to bother me, just remember I'll have Mugen out already."

The training room was mercifully empty. It wasn't surprising seeing as the majority of the Order was running around upstairs like chickens with their heads cut off. The silence down there was great. I took a deep breath to sink into concentration and slowly drew Mugen. If only I could spend all the time with swords; they were silent and they never tried to get me involved in stupid things.

I was half way through a long a pattern dance when there was a loud crash from somewhere overhead followed by a string of muffled curses. It startled me, making me put my foot down strangely and pitch forward. Instead of trying to catch my balance, I let the falling momentum carry me into a roll, holding Mugen out of harm's way to the side. I came up cursing from frustration; every move in a pattern dance had to be perfect so I would have to start over again. I considered shouting back a suggestion to shut the fuck up, but it wasn't worth it. No one would listen.

I just wanted this stupid party to be over. Then the Order could go back to it's usual self. Most everyone still annoyed me on even a good day, but at least it wasn't as noisy or hectic. I stood in the middle of the room in the beginning stance of the pattern, fucking _again_. I closed my eyes and cast of all my annoyance to achieve the meditative state necessary for successful fighting.

I managed to finish my first pattern and nearly complete another before I was interrupted again. This time, I was able to keep my composure and ignore the door slamming open.

"YUU!"

I swung into the next move, which conveniently brought Mugen an inch away from Lavi's neck. "What do you want?" I snapped.

"Eep!" Lavi said in response, swallowing cautiously. He slithered away from the blade and returned to his normal, hyper self. "The party is about to start! Come on, we have to get into possition for the surprise." He paused, considered me for a moment, and then said, "And you need to change. You can't go to a party in those ratty practice clothes."

I fumed and scowled. "Why the hell not?"

Lavi smiled; he had the perfect ammunition. "Allen will be there."

That got my attention. Moyashi had been so busy lately that I hadn't seen him for more than a few moments at a time for quick, stolen kisses over the past week. It wasn't nearly enough to satisfy me. I sighed and feigned disinterest. "Fine. You're just going to keep being a nuisance if I don't anyway."

"Yay! Be in the cafeteria in fifteen minutes to get set for the surprise." Lavi bounced out of the training room and up the stairs. I couldn't say he was sad to see the excitable rabbit go.

Once I was back in my room, I set Mugen carefully on the sword stand and then tossed my practice clothes out of the way. What should I wear? I wanted something that would seduce my Moyashi. This thought was in my head for barely a second before I slapped himself on the forehead. What the hell was I doing fretting over my wardrobe like some stupid schoolgirl? I growled and threw on a nice pair of black slacks and a white button down shirt. It was the kind of outfit I only had because Tiedoll made me wear it when he wanted to have a nice "family" dinner. I didn't like wearing it, but maybe it would pass inspection and Lavi wouldn't bug me about my clothing again. I told myself it didn't have anything to do with wanting to look good for Moyashi.

The cafeteria was dark when I arrived. I could barely see the outlines of banners and balloons. Lenalee had gone way overboard, just like he figured she would. I couldn't see anyone, so I wondered where they were all hiding. I started to make my way across the room, thinking maybe the kitchen, when a hand shot out from beneath a table and pulled me under the table cloth.

"Well look who showed up," Lavi said just a bit too cheerily for my tastes. He must have some sort of super sight, because he then commented, "You clean up nice. Have any _special plans_ for tonight?"

I threw my elbow in the direction of his voice. I was satisfied with the thump and muffled yelp; I hoped I got his face.

He grumbled a bit about me being violent for no reason. Then she suggested, "Be ready to jump out. Komui will probably turn on the lights, so that's our cue."

It wasn't long before we could hear footsteps walking down the hall outside of the cafeteria. There was a bit of muffled giggling from somewhere off to the left quickly smothered and followed by a chorus of shushing. Lavi tensed to spring. I didn't bother. I was here to find Moyashi and drag him off somewhere more private, not for the surprise.

The light flicked on seconds later, and everyone leaped out with an enthusiastic shout of "surprise!" I joined them because I didn't want to stay under the tablecloth all night, but I crossed my arms and said, "che," instead.

Somewhere at the front, Komui was hugging Lenalee and crying in his melodramatic way. I just rolled my eyes.

"Now don't be too sour, Yuu," Lavi whispered, "This is a birthday party remember; you have to be happy."

I elbowed him again in response, but I hadn't been really listening. Instead, I was searching the room for one particularly tempting exorcist. I just caught a glimpse of white hair when Jerry rolled a huge cart of food and desserts out of the kitchen, topped by a monstrous cake. _Damn, _I thought, _I'll never get his attention until this is gone_. Sure enough, I could see that white head working its way through the crowd at lightning speed.

Everyone sang "Happy Birthday," a tradition I found annoying because no one could ever sing it all in harmony, and then converged on the cart. I didn't join them; I wasn't hungry for food. I instead sat on a bench and crossed my arms and legs to wait it out until I could steal my Moyashi away. I hoped that would be soon; I was in no mood to be particularly patient. People grabbed plates quickly and dispersed into small groups.

Moyashi was at the food cart longer than the rest, piling up a huge mountain of food. As the crowd moved out of the way and I could finally see more than just his head, my mouth went dry. He was wearing almost the same thing as me, black pants and white button down shirt, but with his red ribbon around his neck and his usual tall boots. The only difference was his outfit was tighter... _much _tighter than his usual garb. The shirt hugged his thin torso, and the pants barely qualified as clothing rather than a second skin; a black leather belt studded with silver marked just how low they rode on his hips. A shiver of lust snaked down my spine just looking at him. I didn't know he could be this sexy; his appearance just screamed _fuck me_. I would be more than happy to oblige. I leaned back to appreciate the view even though I knew it would do nothing to help with my patience problems.

I was seriously considering grabbing Moyashi and making a break for it, when a voice called across the hall, "Yuu! Come and play with us!" It seemed some of the finders and science guys had set up some stupid drinking game, and roped the baka usagi into it*. Somehow I figured the crazy old panda wouldn't be happy about that.

"Hell no," I shouted back at him.

"I bet you're just scared you'll lose," he taunted, knowing that would push my buttons into joining.

I stalked over to the group. "I am not fucking scared of losing to you," I informed the red-haired idiot. To prove my point, I picked up one of the plastic cups and drained it like a shot. The taste was terrible, but it felt like a flame in my chest as it went down. That part I liked.

I didn't pay much attention to their stupid game. I kept on getting distracted by glimpses of one very tempting white-haired boy through the crowd. I ended up drinking a good bit of alcohol as a result. I got through it by trying to concentrate on the fire and ignoring the taste of the nasty stuff. By the time the game finished, I was a tiny bit light headed, but not enough to worry about. I had also hit, and, passed my patience limit.

I picked Moyashi out of the crowd. He was talking to Lavi, Lenalee and Crowly. I grabbed him by the wrist mid-sentence and dragged him off. He shouted something at them excusing himself before asking me "Kanda, what's up?" as we walked out into the hall.

I had meant to have at least some restraint, but the alcohol in my blood had thrown all my inhibitions to the wind. I growled and pinned him to the wall with my hands on either side of his head. "Did you wear that just to tempt me?"

"You look rather good yourself," he said with a grin.

I took that as a yes. It was all the incentive I needed to crush our mouths together. I traced his lips with my tongue, impatiently demanding entrance. He complied nearly as eagerly, further confirming my theory about the outfit. I slid my tongue across his, but he broke the kiss. "Have you been drinking?" he asked, wrinkling his nose at the alcohol taste that must be lingering on my breath.

"Just a bit. So?" I latched onto his mouth again. He seemed more reluctant, as if he wondered if he really should be doing this if I was drunk. It didn't last long. I ran my tongue across the roof of his mouth and he moaned in a way that sent a burning flame of lust from the top of my head straight down. Then he pushed his body flush against mine. I could feel he was just as turned on as I was, and I knew we had to get somewhere more private before I lost it.

I broke the kiss and started tugging my Moyashi in the direction of my room. He whined at the loss of contact. It was a testament to my self control that I didn't give in to that unspoken request and resume where we'd left off until we reached the door to my room. I slowly backed him in, kicking the door shut with a satisfyingly solid bang.

I pushed him down onto the bed and leaned over him, beginning to unbutton my shirt. His cheeks were tinted and alluring shade of red from a combination of excitement and embarrassment.

"K-kanda, what are you doing?" he asked nervously but with just enough desire in his voice to make me lean down and take his mouth again.

I worked him up until he was clutching at the back of my shirt. Then I released his lips and moved so my breath tickled against his ear. I took one end of his red ribbon and pulled it until it slid away from his neck. "Playing with fire," I whispered in his ear.

* * *

*For legal purposes, we are assuming they're in a country where the legal drinking age is 18. I've been to one of those (:P), so I kind of used my own reaction to dictate Kanda's.

A/N: My, my, Kanda is quite the pervert. Oh well, I got so excited to write the description of Allen in his sexy getup, so I guess I'm pretty bad too. XP

_**READ:**_ Obviously there is a lemon that goes with this, but, as I've said, I'm hiding from the authorities. If you want to read it, it will be up on my livejournal later: (star1anna . livejournal . com). Sorry for the delay in getting it up, I got the account because of this story and just tonight, so I'm still trying to figure it out.


	7. Formal

A/N: One week through, a quarter of the way done. I'm exhausted. I don't know how I'm keeping it up. And things like this keep happening:

**Deadline:** You have half an hour to write the entire end scene.

**Me: **Bwahahahaha! Oh wait… you're serious… shiiiiiiiiiiiiit

**Fanfiction: **Oh, btw, we don't want to let you upload your document right now. Please try to fix a problem that you don't understand and try again later. Sorry for any inconvenience :)

* * *

7/4 formal.

The day we recived the invitation, all the exorcists at home in the Order were fighting in the practice room. There was a new training program which pitted us against each other individually, in teams, or one person against a team. The purpose was to make us learn how to work together better and also fight against different abilities and styles. That day, I was grouped with Noise, Crowley and Lavi egainst Kanda, Lenalee and Miranda.

Lavi was the first to notice the finder waiting by the door, unsurprising since he had been trained to observe absolutely everything about his surroundings. He paused to ask, "Do you need something?" He would have lost his head if he didn't duck under Mugen at the last second.

"Baka usagi, pay attention!" Kanda yelled at him. That caught the rest of our attention, and we glanced over, the rest of us noticing the messanger as well.

"Komui asked for all of you in his office," the man informed us and left in a hurry. I guessed that being in a room full of alert fighters with weapons activated was a little intimidating.

Lavi looked at the rest of us and shrugged before shrinking his hammer. I deactivated my innocence, Lenalee's boots returned to their normal size, and Kanda sheathed Mugen with a hint of reluctance. I knew he would go everywhere with that sword in his hand if he could. All of us trailed out of the training room and down the halls like a line of ducklings.

Komui's office was its usual disaster zone. We very rarely packed into the room all at once, so it was crowded trying to share space with the precariously balanced towers of documents. Miranda inevitably knocked into one, sending a landslide of paper skidding across the floor and burying the bottoms of our shoes. We had to dig out the poor girl, who was setting up a rapid-fire chorus of apologies and proclamations of her own incompetence.

In the confusion, Kanda had managed to snag the only seat in the room, a tiny bit of couch that wasn't covered in the mess. The rest of us had to cluster around in whatever standing room we could find and try not to move too much in case something else fell.

"How come you get the couch?" Lavi whined.

Kanda snorted, "First come first served." Then he scanned the room until his eyes came to rest on me. "Hey Moyashi, sit."

"Huh? Where?" I asked, slightly confused but still with a bad feeling about where this could be going. It was confirmed when he patted his knee. "N...no thank you, I'm fine."

He narrowed his eyes for a second, and then grabbed my wrist and pulled so I practically tumbled into his lap. My face turned a fiery red and I tried to escape, but he wrapped his arm around my waist so I was trapped. I had to settled with ducking my head and hoping my hair covered my blush as I tried to ignore the mix of laughter and exclamations of how cute we looked. To my relief, Kanda silenced them with a death glare.

By that time, we had almost forgotten why we were even in there, so it was a surprise when Komui cleared his throat for our attention. I knew I looked sheepish; Kanda just looked smug. The supervisor held up an envelope made of thick, high quality paper and addressed in fancy lettering. "One of the main financial sponsors of the Black Order is going to be in town next week. It seems he wanted to take a look at where his money was actually going. Our executives have decided to throw a reception for him, and they have requested, no more like demanded, the presence of all the exorcists stationed here. This will be a very high society event held at the country estate of one of the executives, so formal dress is required."

"Hell no, I'm not going," was the first thing out of Kanda's mouth.

Komui sighed in a resigned manner; he had be expecting to have to fight him over this. "It was a direct order; you don't have a choice Kanda-kun. Think of it like a mission if you must."

"No," he repeated flatly. "I'm not going to go suck up and show off to some rich bastard. That's the job of the executives, not an exorcist."

"I agree with Yuu," Lavi stated with a smile, leaning over so he was resting his elbows on the back of the couch. "Bringing him out into polite society would just be a disaster." The object of the teasing hit him over the head so he slipped forward and fell face first into a mountain of paperwork.

"This isn't a matter that's up for discussion," Komui scolded. "All of you will attend the ball, and that's the end of it. I'm assuming none of you have the correct attire, so Lenalee I'm leaving it up to you to find them all outfits. You can spend as much as you need."

"Thank you brother!" Lenalee exclaimed happily at the thought of shopping and all the money. She had a glint in her eye that made me nervous.

Half an hour later, Lavi, Kanda, Miranda, and I stared down the storefront of a boutique that sold black tie attire while Lenalee bounced around in excitement. It was only us because it turned out Crowley did have appropriate clothes, and lucky Noise got called out to deal with an emergency which would take too long to be able to attend the ball, and was therefore exempt.

My black-haired samurai looked particularly annoyed, so I took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He turned his head to the other side and said, "che," but I could tell he didn't mind. It was also a bit of a plot, because since I had a grip on him, he had to follow me into the shop. Inside looked very upscale, with lots of wooden displays along the walls and a relatively small selection of items. I would be scared to see the bill Lenalee could rack up in this place.

"Miranda, why don't you go find some things you want to try on while I get these three set?" Lenalee shooed her off and then looked at us, all lined up, like some sort of general inspecting her troops. "Three piece suits for all of you of course. It's a shame men don't have more of a style selection for this sort of thing, but that can't be helped," she remarked. "We'll just have to spice things up with the color pallet."

She called over a sales associate and started down the row. She pointed at Lavi, "For him, I would like a black suit and tie with a white shirt and a dark green vest, something that would go well with his eye."

"Good selection, miss," remarked the young man she had brought over to help us. Lenalee was about to move on to Kanda's outfit description when the salesman noticed Kanda and my hands, which were still linked between us. "Would you like these two matching then?" He asked with a bit more than a hint of derision in his voice.

I blushed and tried to drop Kanda's hand, but he just held my fingers tighter. "Do you have a problem, asshole?" he demanded, steaming.

The man opened his mouth, probably to make a homophobic remark, but Lenalee cut across him, "I would appreciate if you wouldn't comment about my friends or we will take our business elsewhere." Then she continued her clothing description as if nothing had happened. "Please put him in a white suit, vest and tie with a black shirt," she indicated Kanda, "And finally a black suit and vest with a white shirt and red tie for him," she described my outfit.

"Very good miss," the salesman said, his voice tight as if he was trying to refrain from making some remark that would lose him the sale. Then he disappeared into the back room to pull the pieces for her requests.

As soon as the man disappeared, Lenalee dropped the uncaring act and fumed, "He was so rude! I'm going to report him to his manager."

"No, no, Lenalee it's alright," I said, holding up a hand. "Thank you for defending us though."

It turned out Lenalee didn't need to report him though, because an old woman emerged from the back with the stack of suits instead. "I heard what happened," she told us, "I apologize for his behavior. Now, why don't all of you go try these on and we'll get them fitted." A suit apiece was dumped into our arms and we were shooed toward the dressing rooms while the old woman led Lenalee off to help her find a dress.

As soon as the three of us emerged in our suits, we were attacked by three seamstresses and quickly swallowed in a cloud of pins and tailors chalk. As the dust settled, I was able to truly appreciate Lenalee's brilliant styling skills. I would have never thought to put Kanda in a white suit, but it set off his coloring perfectly, contrasting with his raven hair and making his skin glow golden. The only imperfection was the tie, which he had just draped around his neck. "You have to tie your tie," I reminded him.

"I don't know how to tie the damn thing," he said absently. I could feel his eyes on me, tracing languidly down my body. I had to repress a shiver and a blush.

To try to break the tension in the air, I stepped forward and tied his tie for him. "There." I had meant to step back right away but my hands lingered at his collar for a moment.

"Aww, isn't he just the perfect little boyfriend?" Lavi teased, peeking over Kanda's shoulder.

"Shut up baka usagi," he ordered. Then he leaned in close and whispered in my ear, "that's my line." The shiver that ran down my spine that time was irrepressible.

The afternoon before the ball, Lenalee couldn't stop chattering about it. She had never been to such a fancy event before, and she was unbearably excited. The more enthusiastic she got, the more annoyed and grumpy Kanda became. It was a relief when she and Miranda disappeared to do their hair and makeup because the man could calm down some.

Kanda decided that once it wasn't constantly being waved in his face anymore, he was going to ignore the reality of the ball until the last possible second. We spent the rest of the afternoon in the lounge; he read a book and I curled up at his side with my head on his shoulder, half asleep.

About half an hour before we were supposed to leave, Lavi poked his head through the door and informed us, "The Lenalady said to tell you to start getting ready right now or she'll come out here and kick you all the way to the estate with her dark boots."

Kanda grumbled all the way back to his room, but I counted myself lucky he didn't put up more of a fight than that. I had to tie his tie for him again, which was a very slow and distracted process this time because he decided to use the proximity to nibble on my ear. As a result, I was very red by the time we met Lavi and Miranda in the front hall. The skinny girl had found a shimmering black dress with a full skirt and lace at the hems. She looked confused at my face, but Lavi gave me a raised eyebrow and then a thumbs up which only made my color deepen.

Lenalee arrived last in a gold silk sleeveless evening gown that was tight down to her hips and then dropped straight to the floor. She lined us up for a final inspection, armed with a comb and a bottle of hair gel. "Sorry guys, I forgot to tell you what to do with your hair," she apologized, shaking her head at the thought that she could have let something so significant slip her mind. She snatched the hair band out of Lavi's hair first and attacked it with the comb and hair gel until it was slicked back. I could tell he wasn't happy with that particular style. Next, Lenalee took Kanda's hair out of its ponytail and brushed it down so it hung sleek and shining down his back the temptation to run my fingers through it was nearly unbearable. Finally, for me she produced a black top hat from behind her back and placed it on my head.

"Hey, how come he gets a top hat while I get my hair smothered in gel?" Lavi complained.

"He looks better in a top hat than you would." Lenalee stood back to give us a final look-over. "Everyone looks great. Now you just have to remember that this is a very formal event with a lot of guests who are important and powerful in the Order. They will be expecting us to follow the standards of high society and to act with decorum. We all need to be on our best behavior."

"Um, Lenalee, why do you keep looking at us when you say that?" I asked.

Her face grew sympathetic. "Oh, Allen, it's just that all the higher ups in the Order are really intertwined with the actual Catholic Church, and this relationship between the two of you is forbidden in their minds. None of us care," she reassured quickly, "we understand that there are more important things than the gender of the person you love. Just, be really careful and don't display any affection. You could get in big trouble with them."

I could tell Kanda wanted to say something about it. Before he could open his mouth, I said, "We understand."

Lenalee nodded and then reached into her purse for something. They were silver pins that she attached to each of our lapels, and then the shoulders of her and Miranda's dresses. I pulled it closer for inspection and saw it was a miniature version of the Black Order insignia from our exorcist uniforms. "Alright, let's go."

Komui had ordered us a carriage to carry us out to the estate. Lavi, Lenalee and Miranda climbed in one side, leaving the other for Kanda and I, most likely on purpose. He insisted on holding my hand on the seat between us the entire ride. I suspected it was in part a statement of defiance.

The carriage came to a rumbling halt before a massive with a large balcony off the front, supported by Roman columns. Laughter and light drifted out through the open second floor doors. We were welcomed and ushered inside by a pair of servants. The main hall was an enormous space that drew exclamations of wonder from the girls and a whistle of appreciation from Lavi. He got an elbow to the side from etiquette master Lenalee for that. A massive marble staircase with mahogany rails brought us up to the second floor and the ballroom where the event was taking place.

The servants held open the large double doors for us and announced, "Presenting the honored exorcists of the Black Order: Miss Miranda Lotto, Miss Lenalee Lee, Mister Lavi Bookman, Mister Yuu Kanda and Mister Allen Walker."

I was stunned by the number of people in the room, every one of whom had their eyes on us as we made our entrance. We all put on our polite smiles and beamed at the crowd, except for Kanda who was still scowling because they said his first name.

We were almost immediately whisked off to our tables for dinner. We were all seated in different places, most likely so as many people as possible could get the chance to sit with an exorcist. I had a group of distinguished men who looked like the types that held a significant amount of power in society. The meal was a five course torture session for me. I had been instructed that in polite society, people ate normal (microscopic in my opinion) sized portions of food over a length of time. I plastered on my mask and made small talk through the entire affair, and tried to hide the fact I was staring down the plates of my tablemates.

I was relieved when the last plate was cleared away and the band struck up the dancing music. There was no shortage of dance partners; everyone wanted to dance with an exorcist, especially the famously predicted 'destroyer of time.' That title had somehow circulated during dinner, much to my displeasure. I ended up dancing with both Lenalee and Miranda, the former who was fairly skilled and the latter who stepped on my toes, as well as what felt like every other woman in the room, but not the one person I wanted to dance with the most. He had gotten unhappily stuck with partners as well, and moved quite gracefully for someone I suspected had no dance instruction. I caught his eye several times across the room, wishing I could be in his arms instead of dancing with a girl I didn't know.

When I finally got a break from the constant stream of dance requests, I escaped the floor quickly and found one of the couches that had been conveniently placed around the perimeter of the room. Lenalee joined me moments later, out of breath and with a light sheen of sweat on her forehead. "Isn't this fun?" she asked.

I nodded absently, watching Kanda, who was still stuck on the dance floor. "I want to dance," I told her.

"Didn't you just dance with every female in the place?"

"No," I said, "I want to dance with him."

She nodded, but left me be. Only moments later she was whisked away by another dance partner. I allowed myself to drift into fantasies of what it would be like to dance with Kanda.

I was so absorbed in thought that I didn't notice him until his shadow crossed my face and blocked the light. Even though he knew our relationship was forbidden, even though we could get in serious trouble, he gave me a devil-may-care smile and held out his hand. "Can I have this dance?"

* * *

A/N- Today I received a sign from the gods in the form of a perfectly timed tumblr post. I used the picture to draw some of the inspiration for the clothing, especially Kanda's outfit. A link to the picture is on my profile.


	8. Companion

A/N- **_Important for comprehension of theme_**: I am using today's theme of companion as a play on words for the French word "compagnon." A compagnon is a person who is like a spouse but without marriage. Compagnons will live their lives as if they are married, such as having children and sharing a home, but without any type of formal union.

* * *

7/5 companion.

Allen Walker couldn't sleep. He had gone to bed tired; sure he would drift off almost immediately. First, his pillow seemed too soft and thin. He tried sleeping without it so his head would be on the firmer mattress, but that didn't work either; his head was too low. Next the blankets grew too hot, but it was too cold without them. He curled up into a ball to preserve body heat, and managed to get somewhat comfortable, but the sleep still wouldn't come. He had just hit the point where he didn't feel sleepy anymore when he opened his eyes to check the clock. The moonlight streaming through the window seemed as bright as day to his dark-accustomed eyes.

Allen gave up at this point and sprawled out on his back on the bed. He stared at the ceiling and absently watched Timcampy flit back and forth across the room, casting strangely shaped shadows on the walls. Only the night before he had no trouble falling asleep he thought, even with the news he had received. He thought back to the conversation:

_He was lying together with Kanda in his lover's bed. He was tired, but not quite enough to want to fall asleep yet. He wanted to savor the calm, quiet moment where they could relax and just enjoy each other's presence. He lay on his stomach with his head on one arm and traced light patterns across Kanda's bare chest with a fingertip. His lover's slow breath ghosted over the top of his head, and one calloused swordsman's hand rested at the small of his back._

_ Allen had just begun to get sleepy when Kanda, who he had thought was already asleep, reached his other arm out to pull the white-haired boy close. "Aren," he whispered, his voice fogged with tiredness. Kanda only called him by his name when they were alone, and typically just as Allen was about to fall into dreams, but it made his heart swell every time._

_ "Yes?" Allen murmured, leaning his head forward until their foreheads were touching and closing his eyes._

_ "I'm leaving on a short mission tomorrow," Kanda told him. "It's nothing difficult, just some level ones and maybe a level two."_

_ "Hm, why are they sending you if it's so easy?" Allen asked, the information barely making it to his tired brain._

_ "I've been on a mission near there before. Komui thinks I can get in and out faster since I know the area. With travel time, it should only take a day and a night. I doubt you'll notice I'm gone"_

_ "Mhm, okay," Allen mumbled. Moments later his breathing slowed and evened out into sleep_.

Kanda had left very early that morning, before Allen woke up. During the day, he almost didn't notice, just as his samurai had predicted. They typically had so much to do that they only saw in passing anyway. However, at night Allen returned to his room to find the bed perfectly made. Kanda never made his bed, and lately he had begun to pick up on the bad habit as well. It made him wonder just when the last time he slept alone in his own bed was. The two of them had slept there a few weeks ago, but alone? It had to be a month at least, probably more.

As a preemptive strike, Allen decided to do a particularly hard workout routine before even thinking about climbing into that undisturbed bed. In the end he had fallen onto it, completely exhausted and expecting sleep to overtake him right away. And here he was what felt like hours later, still awake with no relief in sight.

He admitted to himself with a sigh that he was missing Kanda after all. He missed the way his lover would always sleep with his arms around him, the sound of his soft breathing, his heat, even his smell. Without it, Allen just couldn't sleep. It didn't help that even though he knew Kanda was more than capable of taking care of himself and probably already finished the mission, a tiny bit of anxiety still crept into his mind. He wanted to go crawl into Kanda's bed, but he felt even still that it was an invasion of privacy.

Eventually he drifted off into a light and restless sleep just out of pure exhaustion. When he woke, he felt more tired than the night before. He dressed in a haze and stumbled his way down to the dining hall. He barely remembered ordering breakfast, much less what he was actually eating. It was lonely sitting there with only his mountain of food for company. Breakfast was the meal Allen and Kanda consistently shared, and he had gotten accustomed to sitting side by side, even the teasing remarks about the size of his appetite.

Lavi, noticing Allen was alone without his raven-haired partner, took pity and came to sit with him. "Whoa, you look like an Akuma chewed you up and spat you back out," the redhead commented, noticing the bags under the boy's eyes and the lethargy with which he ate rather than devoured his food.

"Thanks," Allen grunted but didn't offer any more details. It would be too hard to string multiple words together into a coherent thought.

"So what happened?" Lavi prompted as Allen would have known he would if he was more awake.

It took him a moment to make sure his answer wouldn't come out as a garbled mess. "Kanda's on a mission."

"Then shouldn't you be getting more sleep little buddy?" Lavi teased suggestively.

Allen didn't even acknowledge the jibe. He just shook his head and said, "Couldn't sleep." Lavi gave him a significant look, which he was too out of it to decipher, but thankfully left him alone after that.

When Kanda returned mid-afternoon, Allen was sitting in the lounge, head in hand, in a stupor. He hadn't gotten anything accomplished all day, and he had been so underfoot that he had been ordered to go find somewhere he wouldn't get in the way.

Kanda had dropped his luggage first thing and then gone pacing the halls on the lookout for his Moyashi. He needed a pick-me-up after his obnoxious mission, made even more annoying by the fact that it was somehow draining even though it was easy. When he finally found him in the lounge, he was amused by the sight of his lover sitting perfectly still and staring into space with a glazed look in his eyes. It was cute enough that he had to go gather his white-haired boy up for a slow, sweet kiss.

Allen was startled because he hadn't even noticed Kanda come in, but happy he was home. When Kanda released his mouth, he immediately lay his head on the man's shoulder, overcome by a wave of tiredness that was dragging him down into sleep on his feet.

"Moyashi, what are you doing?" Kanda inquired.

"Tired," Allen replied, punctuated by yawn, "didn't sleep well last night."

Kanda chuckled and dragged him back to his room before he collapsed in the middle of the hallway. He helped his Moyashi into the still-unmade bed and crawled in next to him. A nap wouldn't be a bad thing. He wouldn't say it but he hadn't slept well either.

Allen immediately curled up around his lover and said, "Welcome home, Kanda." He fell asleep to the feeling of a strong hand stroking his hair.

Allen woke to find night had crept into the room, and a pair of dark eyes was watching him. "Morning sleeping beauty," a quiet voice teased. He pouted but let Kanda give him a peck on the lips anyway.

"You were so out of it when I found you. Were you like that all day?" Allen nodded and Kanda laughed. "Too bad I didn't see that."

"You were the cause," Allen shot back. "I couldn't sleep because you weren't there." His lover gave him a smug look in response, and he smacked him lightly on the arm.

They lay together in silence for a few moments, simply enjoying each other's company before Allen broached the question that had been bouncing around his mind all day. He still thought it was a valid one even though it was his sleep deprived mind that first wondered it. "Why do we have two rooms?"

Kanda looked confused. "They each gave us one when we joined the Order."

Allen rolled his eyes at how dense he could be sometimes. "No, I mean, we never sleep in my room, and it seems sleeping alone is out, so why should I keep a room I never use? C...couldn't I just move in here?" He stuttered a bit on the last part. The rational part of him said it wouldn't make sense since he let him sleep there every night, but he was suddenly worried Kanda might say no.

"Living fully together? Doesn't that seem a little weird?"

His heart sank. He almost didn't want to ask the question, just leave it be and take what he had, but his mouth still opened and asked, "Why?"

"I don't know. It just seems like something that only people who are really serious do."

"I thought we were serious. This doesn't seem like a fling, at least not to me," Allen said, trying to keep the tremble out of his voice. He blinked several times, telling himself it was just the strain on his eyes from trying to see in the dark too long.

"Oh shit, that didn't come out right," Kanda tried to recover when he saw the tears threatening in those silver-grey orbs. "I meant people who are married, or fiancées, that type of relationship."

Allen turned his head away. "I'm sorry, I assumed too much." He hoped the small hitch in his voice wasn't really as loud as it sounded in his ears.

Kanda cursed his stupidity, and took Allen's face in his hands so he couldn't hide. He used his thumbs to wipe away the tears that had begun to trickle down. "Hey, Aren, look at me. This isn't some stupid fling to me either. I love you. It's just the idea of marriage or something like that, it never crossed my mind since men aren't allowed to marry.* I never thought to define us in those terms."

Allen's eyes widened, causing the rest of the tears he had been trying to hold to spill down his cheeks. "Do you mean it?"

He could hear the sincerity when he replied with an emphatic "Yes."

Allen flung his arms around Kanda's neck and buried his face in his shoulder, holding his lover as tight as he could and just breathing him in. "I love you too," he replied.

"Are you still crying?" Kanda asked, trying to sooth his emotional lover by rubbing slow circles on his back.

"Yes, but only because I'm very happy."

Allen gradually relaxed into Kanda's touch, and he was starting to think he might end up falling asleep again when he heard, "Let's wait until the morning to bring your things over though."

* * *

*Remember -Man is set in an earlier time period.

A/N: Leave it to Kanda to put his foot in his mouth. Again, things tend to get away from me and turn out sappier than intended. This was a _super_ fun one to write... I had maybe four hours total to work on this today because I'm starting a new job, and maybe two and a half at most actually went into writing and not being distracted -.- I apologize for any quality problems that result from that.


	9. Move

A/N: I think I did actually miss this deadline... oh well I knew it would happen some time... sigh

* * *

7/ 6 move.

I absolutely couldn't believe I was being sent on another mission with the idiot Moyashi. I would have thought that the mess he made of our last assignment proved that we weren't well suited to work together. I also thought it was clear we didn't get along. Every time we were forced to interact, sparks flew in the worse possible way.

Yet here I was, staring at the name of my partner for this assignment printed across the top of my mission folder. No matter how long I gave it my best death glare, the letters didn't miraculously rearange themselves into anything more tollerable. The best outcome would have been if they just vanished all together, but I would have taken anything else, even the baka usagi. Although he had a habit of braiding my hair when I slept, which pissed me off without fail, at least I could threaten him with Mugen, and he wouldn't compromise the mission for something stupid.

"Get someone else," I ordered Komui, giving him a look that would leave anyone less accustomed to me running for cover. I wasn't sure whether I was telling him to find me a different partner, or find someone other than me to work with the idiot with old man hair. Either worked.

"Why?" The crazy man asked. "You worked so well together last time."

My eye twiched. "Where the hell have you been?"

"You were able to defeat your first level two together, even knowing very little about them. You fought together and recovered the innocence despite any other issues."

"You're just ignoring the fact that there were other issues," I growled at him. "If we work as well together as you think, we wouldn't have so many problems to work around in the first place!"

Komui sighed. "I don't want to have to do it, but I will give you an absolute order to go on the mission. I would prefer if you accepted it without a fight."

"Don't bother," I snarled, snatching the mission folder and stalking out of the room. Trying to fight over it would just be too obnoxous, especially if Komui would over rule it in the end.

The Moyashi was already waiting on the dock of the underground river when I arrived. I scowled; I had been hoping that he would be late and I would get a few moment's respite. He didn'tlook. Exactly happy either, but he had his mask so it didn't show as much. That almost pissed me off more. He knew we disliked each other mutually, so why did he need to hide it. It wasn't like he needed to impress me or any shit like that.

I made sure to ignore him because I didn't want to see that polite face. If he would only look angry or annoyed it would be better. There was a stony, heavy silence between us on the boat. At least on the train there was the sounds of the wheels and whistles to cut through it.

The Moyashi disappeared behind his mission folder immedately and studied it intently. I scanned it briefly, enough to read the name of the place and the disturbance before I tossed it on the seat next to me in disgust and propped my chin in my hand to look out the window. I could see the city approaching from miles away. It covered a vast landscape in an unnatural sprawl. There were only two things in the world that grew that fast: cities and weeds. They had another similarity too; once they had taken root they were impossible to pull up.

It was more than obvious I hated the places. Stinking mazes of winding streets packed with people hid darkness all too well. Centers of poverty, crime, disease and death, they were the perfect breeding ground for Akuma.

"Oh wow, it's so huge!" Exclaimed an annoying voice from the other seat. Fake. The excitement he put on wasn't genuine. What was it covering? Fear? Distaste?

The train pulled into a lavish station done up in fancy types of wood and curling metal decorations leafed in silver and gold. It was too perfect; I didn't like it. I had seen several other tracks branch off or run along our line and enter the city at different points. I doubted those stations were nearly as nice. This place was just one more damn mask.

Sure enough, as we wandered down side streets and away from the city center, all that fancy gilt felt away to show the true face. Its nose was broken, collapsing buildings and its lips cracked and peeling paint. Stinking garbage rouged the cheeks of its streets, and its hungry eyes peered out from every doorway, window and shadow before darting away into the darkness.

"If we're to find the Akuma, this would be the best place to start," Moyashi said.

"Obviously," I stated.

He ignored the remark and scanned the surrounding tenement buildings, stacked high and leaning dangerously, though his eye didn't activate. "Shall we continue further in?"

I brushed past him and headed down the street in response. I could hear a sigh from somewhere behind me, and then footsteps following. Manners actually mattered to the Moyashi; I couldn't say why and definitely couldn't agree. He should be getting angry at my rudeness, not meekly following without comment.

I have no idea how the Akuma managed to hide themselves from the cursed boy's eye, but we didn't know we had walked into an ambush until they attacked. Two of them sat on top of a high roof in front of us. One swung mutated legs, and the other inspected long claws for dirt. I drew Mugen and the Moyashi activated his arm at the sight of them.

"Look who's in town," said Claws.

"It's been so long since we had a proper visitor. I want to play with them," added Legs, kicking faster in excitement.

"Now, now, we must be polite and welcome them first with a great party. Don't worry," the Akuma executed a mocking bow with a hand over its heart. Its claws were so long they extended past its shoulder. "We have already made all the provisions, including a rather impressive guest list."

"Che, I don't see anyone," I stated, holding my blade at the ready for the moment they attacked.

"Um, Kanda, you should take another look around." The Moyashi was slowly backing toward me and turning at the same time to survey every angle, his eyes darting from shadow to shadow. I glanced around and saw faces leering from almost every pool of darkness. They lurked in doorways and windows, down dark alleys and over crumbling rooftops.

"Is that all you've got?" I taunted. "Che, too easy."

"I wouldn't tempt them," my partner recommended.

Claws and Legs took offense to my comment. Perfect. They came streaming with their hoard into the street and attacked. It was a mixed group of level ones and level twos. Usually it would be more than easy to get rid of them, but it was hard to move in the cramped way which barely qualified as more than an alley. And, there was always one more Akuma than I thought. Damn cities and their dumb people who let the Millenium Earl trick them. Damn slums and their thousands of hidey holes.

The other Akuma were fairly easy to kill. I noticed quickly that Claws and Legs were the real opponents when they managed to evade every swipe of my blade, using the confusion to slip away from sure death. They cackled constantly as they wove in and out of the frey. I was pissed at these two; I wanted to kill them and they wouldn't let me.

I lost sight of them for a moment, and that's when the voice shouted, "Kanda, move!" before I was shoved to the ground. I caught myself on my hands and whirled around to yell my head off at Moyashi. What was he doing pushing me over in the middle of this, where if anyone else was in my place they would be trampled. However, he wasn't there. There was a thump and a grunt of pain off to the left. He had been sideswiped by Claws and thrown into the side of a building.

Idiot Moyashi, that's what he got for trying to be a hero. I just ignored the stupid exorcist and kept fighting, or at least tried to. My eyes flicked back to him and he still hadn't gotten up. He had been thrown into buildings before, _through_ buildings, and only been slightly dazed. So what was wrong? Why wasn't he getting to his feet to face the set of Akuma closing in on him? It looked as if he hadn't even moved from where he had dropped into a crumpled heap.

I had told him once before that if he hindered the mission, I would leave him behind. Well, it wasn't like I was going anywhere soon anyway, surrounded as I was, and all of these Akuma had to die at one point. I wasn't protecting him, only deciding to take out that group first. I wasn't standing over him so he couldn't be attacked while my back was turned, only choosing an easily defensible spot where none of them could sneak up behind me.

_He's even doing me a favor_, I thought coldly. Without having to worry about paying attention so I didn't hack up a partner along with the enemy, I could let the battle rage and adrenaline course through my veins and direct my sword where to go. I blinked and suddenly the street was clear.

I wiped Mugen clean of Akuma bits and sheathed him before bending over to check on the Moyashi. His pulse was faint and stuttering, but still there, so at least he wasn't dead yet. 'Not dead yet' could usually be treated if you had the right connections. Seeing as exorcists had clearance everywhere, we had all the right connections, one of the few perks (other than fighting) of this obnoxious job.

I rolled him over to find something much more concerning. His uniform was sliced in four parallel lines down his torso, the wounds and fabric dyed red. That could be patched, but the green tinge to the skin around each cut, that I wasn't sure about. The Akuma's power must have been some poison in the claws, and different from the typical poison made from their blood or his innocence would have already cleansed it.

I didn't know much about poisons, especially how fast this one acted, so I did a quick bandage job over the wounds so he wouldn't bleed out, and ran back through the slums with the Moyashi over my shoulder, back to the city's mask.

"Mr. Black Priest," a nurse said nervously. I had found a hospital and turned the idiot over into their care. Then I had leaned against the wall outside the room where they took him and glared at any of the staff who came too close.

"What?" I snapped.

"The doctors have cleaned Mr. Walker's wounds as best as they can and stitched them up. The skin began to return to its normal color, so it seems they were able to remove the poison. He hasn't regained consciousness yet, and I've been told to warn you that since this particular poison and its effects are unknown, he might never," the nurse informed me, flipping through her clipboard instead of meeting my eyes

"What the hell are you talking about? You said they got the poison. Why would he still die?"

"He most likely won't die, but he might remain in a coma. In that state, he maybe could be able to hear people and understand things, but he wouldn't be able to respond."

"The Moyashi will wake up," I told her firmly, "he's just too stubborn to stop like that. He's got this stupid thing about how he has to keep moving, so I'm sure he'll do it."

I pushed past her and into the room. The Moyashi was white on white; with his hair, pale skin and bandages, he almost blended into the sterile-colored bed. I couldn't tell where that conviction about him out in the hall had come from.

I sighed and pulled out the mission folder; I might as well go retrieve the innocence while I was waiting for him to start moving again. I flipped through the report quickly, looking for some mention of it. I scowled when I didn't find it and started over again, thinking maybe I'd missed some small detail. This time when I read it, I noticed the note on the very first page. It read, "no confirmed innocence, clean-up of Akuma infestation."

I threw the folder on the floor in frustration. The papers scattered out the side, forming a white fan. I dropped into the only chair in the room, an uncomfortable folding thing that nearly collapsed. I swore at the stupid contraption and let my head hang back, suddenly exhausted, and suddenly doubtful.

What if the Moyashi didn't wake up, didn't start moving again? There was no point to this stupid mission, nothing important. If he died or got stuck like this over something so idiotic, I would personally kill Komui. I was angry at Moyashi too. Why the hell had he pushed me aside and taken that blow? He knew I couldn't die. If I had taken the hit instead of him, the both of us would be walking around right now and pissing each other off. It had to be his whole obsession with being a savior.

That stupid hero complex of his, what was hiding behind it? He had so many masks that buried somewhere deep, there had to be some reason he felt the need to save everyone. I believed too little of humanity to think it was entirely out of a noble character. He hated me, so it certainly couldn't be because he had wanted to protect me.

I glanced over at him out of the corner of my eye. I hated the look on his face; it was worse than his mask, and the mask was what pissed me off the most about him. It was placed there, carefully schooled and controlled, but at least the emotion was somewhere underneath. This was entirely blank.

If he died here, how many people would have seen the real Allen Walker, not tiny glimpses that he let slide through or snuck through the cracks in his mask? I wanted to break it off and make him show his real feelings instead of something fake. I knew there was something moving under that false face, strictly contained and channeled out at need. I wanted to break that emotion free of its prison and watch every single one flicker in his eyes. I would be pissed if I didn't get the chance.

_Come on,_ I willed, _move, wake up._ He didn't head the silent call. He stayed perfectly still, like white carved marble, cold and lifeless.

I slept the night in the chair. It seemed like just too much effort to get up. The mantra, "move, move" played through my dreams. The next night, Komui called for an update. I refused to tell him. If I didn't say it, maybe it wouldn't be as real.

As I grew more tired, the doubt came back. Maybe I should just walk away, like I'd promised him I would do those many months ago. I feel like I would have done it then, but something weird had gotten into my head lately. I could tell my dreams would be restless and unpleasant as I was starting to fall asleep, once again in the uncomfortable hospital chair.

I thought the first flicker of motion was a trick of my tired mind. The second caught my attention. Had his hand twitched? No, not possible. It couldn't be because if it was, I couldn't convince myself to walk away. I already couldn't stop myself from staring at that blank face for any sign of life. Otherwise, I might have missed when his eyes blinked open.

"You were here the whole time." He didn't ask me, he told me. "You were thinking about me; I could sense it, and hear you telling me to move."

I was about to say "che," and look away, when his face broke into a radiant smile. It was genuine. One emotion down, thousands to go. Even if it took a lifetime, I would find a way to make him show them all.

* * *

A/N: Perhaps all in all spoken a bit more eloquently like Kanda, but there were just some metaphors and descriptions that made me totally geek out, the 'face' of the city in particular. I'm curious what people thought of that image alone, whether it would be something Kanda would think or not.


	10. Silver

A/N: Work, no time, sleep deprived, ultra-drabble-y, another missed deadline. That is all I can say.

* * *

7/8 silver.

I always hated the insignia on the shoulder of my uniform. It was silver and intricate. The embroidery probably took days by hand. What an elegant way to say a person was marked to die, advertised in cold metal. It was the mark of an organization that didn't care whether we lived or died, nor how many others lost their lives in the war. I didn't want that mark, but there was nothing else.

Perhaps for that reason I thought that of all metals, silver had to be the coldest. Gold at least appeared to be holding some warmth even when it would be freezing cold to the touch. In the lethal game that was life in the Order, the survivors bore gold. And even that still wasn't a guarantee.

Perhaps that opinion helped form my prejudices when I saw the silver boy. Here was a boy with silver hair, silver eyes and pale skin; he was marked to die before he even put on the uniform coat for the first time. The way I viewed it, that cold color wasn't just an adornment, a mark placed upon him by others, but Allen Walker himself. The first time I met him, I refused to shake his hand; I was afraid that if I touched his palm I would freeze.

The more I saw of the boy in those first few days, the more I began to think my theory was correct. He had a mask of ice that froze his features in place and allowed him to regard anyone and any situation with a cool, but fake politeness. When he got angry, mainly at me, it rolled off of him in chilling waves as opposed to mine which boiled and burned.

The first time I was forced to fight side by side with the silver boy, I was expecting him to die. He was so contaminated by its stain that there was no way he could possibly live. He defied my prediction and lived to sit on a set of stairs for three days and nights while he waited for a doll, not even something with a real life, to stop her singing. That was the first time I saw him under the moon. It glowed bright and big on the horizon behind him, almost swallowing him into her light, as if she was trying to reclaim the color that was hers.

As I watched his face under the cover of night, I began to think he wasn't truly cold after all, only distant and unreachable, so much like the orb that dwarfed his shadowed frame then. There was warmth in him, undeniably so after the lengths he would go for others. I still thought most of those lengths were stupid and risky for no reason, but he wouldn't let anything deter him. If he was indeed as cold as I thought, he would have gone brittle and cracked instead. The only kind of person who could make it past all the obstacles in his path, most of them self-imposed, was someone with enough heat to melt them away.

His soft heat was contagious. Before long, silver didn't seem like such a cold color anymore; after all, metals can be easily warmed. I must have been some sort of metal too, because I drank in that warmth, at first in tiny bits where it wouldn't be missed but I wanted more, wanted it to myself. I was sure if I could reach him for real, I would be blinded by its intensity. Even though he still annoyed me often and could work me up to my boiling point with ease, I couldn't resist the curiosity to find out.

When the distance finally disappeared, it was just as dazzling as I expected.

Late at night, the moon would watch us through the open window, cast its light across his bare body and make him glow in precious metal. Without a doubt, Allen Walker was a child of silver, a child of the moon.

But the moon travels in cycles. It refuses to halt and stay the same for even a day. For every waxing it must wane. So it was the day the silver boy was called on to fulfill his duty as the 'destroyer of time.'

Exorcists were cremated in black coffins. I fought for him to have white; he couldn't have silver, but it would be close. I lost the battle; the black coffin was an honor, a mark of rank. I knew he didn't care about rank. He had valued every human life the same. Civilians; finders; exorcists; even those of us with half-lives, fake lives, had all become equal under that shining gaze. I didn't look right. He should be shrouded in the mark of death. He had been marked all along, just as I had predicted from the very start. The ones who put him on the front lines should have acknowledged it, let themselves feel shame that he was nothing more than a tool to be used until it broke and then tossed away. And their shame would be his pride because although he met with the fate they placed on his shoulders, he had accomplished everything he ever wanted on this world.

The day of the funeral, the room, even the building was packed with people come to see what remained of the 'destroyer of time.' The throngs came to mourn the boy who sacrificed himself to save us all. It was a perfect irony that in that last moment he was a destroyer who saved.

As I looked at his almost-sleeping face, I knew it was all wrong. His silver hair looked to stark against the black pillow, and his silver eyes weren't even visible at all. I knelt for only a moment at his side, all the time I was allowed. I refused to shed tears; for once it wouldn't be the display of emotion before people that made me hesitate. No, I couldn't do it because tears were silver, and that was his color, not mine. I would never have a claim on it again.

I watched the whole proceedings from the side of the room, feeling mildly disgusted at the men and women who walked past, heads bent. They didn't even know what they were truly mourning. Eventually the line ended and he was carried off to be cremated. Even though the war was over, it was still the rules of the Order. Not even the 'destroyer of time' would have a grave. He would vanish forever instead.

There was supposed to be another ceremony for the scattering of his ashes at dawn the next morning, with even more uncaring mourners. That wouldn't be right either. He was silver, not gold. I snuck in and stole the urn, the only thing left of my silver boy burned to dust. I carried it to the top of the building, closest to the moon, and freed him to the wind. Instead of falling to the ground, he was lifted up in a gust of wind that carried him to the sky in a cloud of glittering dust that looked like stars.

As I turned and walked away, I thought silver was a cold color after all. I knew it all along, because I always knew that the silver moon would one day call her child home.

* * *

A/N- Well, made myself cry at least.


End file.
